I’m sorry I haven’t blogged for a while. There are a lot of reasons like emotional upheaval, no money for new clothes, bad weather making photo shoots impossible etc, but they are all excuses for not posting regular content I guess. I’m undergoing something of a weight loss journey. Actually weight loss doesn’t really cover it. After three years of not looking after my body, it is more of a detox and a tone up than weight loss. I believe in the plus size aesthetic, and I believe in the beauty of curves (not to the exclusion of other forms I should add) which is one reason why this has been so hard. I believe that I have to lose some weight and lower my BMI in order to be healthy again, but I don’t particularly want to lose dress sizes, and I especially don’t want to lose my curves! They are hardly going to disappear completely ha ha, but nonetheless I wasn’t prepared for the mental effects of weight loss. Having always been plus sized, the biggest of my friends, and what people like to call ‘voluptuous’, (I think making that word a synonym for bubbly has unfortunately taken all the sexy right out of it) changing my size and shape has been a little like losing a part of my identity. That may sound extreme, but one of the millions of things that identify my has always been large breasts, a big ass, etc. Of course, it is what is inside that counts. Of course, personality is most important to the people that matter. But it feels a little strange nonetheless. Where I used to be an hourglass, I am becoming more of a pearshape for instance, and I will need to learn to dress accordingly. But in the meantime, I do intend to start blogging regularly again! Apart from anything else, I believe in the power of the blogosphere to change media, advertising and culture, and tapping in to that community is a great source of strength. Before, when I wasn’t paying that much attention to my body the thin ideal never bothered me or interfered with my life that much (apart from my shopping options) – it just seemed so far away from me as to be irrelevant. Now that I have started thinking a little about what things I feel I need to change (diet, general fitness, bulge around the middle?) mainstream images of women have, suddenly, become so much more apparent to me. Going to the gym for instance you cannot avoid the public screens with everything from the pussy cat dolls to weathergirls on screen constantly, and such bombardment really does begin to affect you. Perhaps it doesn’t quite warp a strongly held perspective, but it certainly begins to blind you, if you like, as to the variation and size of real life. With that in mind, I’d like to share a magazine with you which I recently came across. If you haven’t discovered it already, this kind of magazine is a pretty great alternative to the popular ones. Just flipping through this kind of publication is a balm that reminds you of the beauty and normality of different kinds of human body:
PLUS MODEL MAGAZINE – this issue has particularly great nude photos in!
Please let me know if these are sentiments that you have ever experienced while undergoing a physical change …